Let's take it from the top

I hadn’t noticed the signs yesterday but then in the afternoon I was staring in the mirror at myself when I was suddenly washed with that icy skipping-freakout-and-just-going-straight-to-freeze-paralysis-while-hearing-and-motionlessness-are-your-only-awareness glitch that was EXACTLY what I felt all childhood up till last year the second anything remotely possibly supernatural or angry-person-scary caught my attention, and then half a second later my brain went full on “you feel like I pilot of a mecha body today and did you see your eyes just now? Pupils are black soulless voids, they’re just holes, and you just had a demon fly straight into them and waltz in to devour and control you because YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND YOU LET HIM IN” and I was like “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHY AM I FROZEN I SHOULD JUST MOVE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS DEMONS OH MAN THAT DOESN’T MATTER THOUGH BECAUSE IM STARING AT WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ME AND IT DOESNT LOOK REAL, no demons YES DEMONS I’m an atheist now YOU OPENED YOURSELF UP TO POSSESSION nooooo I DID open myself up to possession WHY AM I FROZEN WHAT DO I DO I’M SO SCARED and then I was like “hang on, hey. hey wait just a minute. wait. hey. this feels like a danger’s-not-real moment. What is ACTUALLY in my surroundings” and then I almost immediately un-froze my limbs from there and did a dissociation workout instead

even though this is stressful because I know there are things I should be thinking about or worrying about and getting done and it’s frustrating to not be able to make myself care, I do deserve 10,000 points to recovering-me because of how quickly I caught that one. The last time I had a flashback like THAT it lasted almost an entire day and a half. Look how little time I had those total panic chemicals going! That was incredible!