Let's take it from the top

(from various points in 2021-2023)

Hey question did anyone else get super confused and grossed out by what “all men” thinking and wanting one thing all the time and being totally visual thinkers implied for you being around your relatives and having a dad or whoever do modesty checks for clothing or whatever else because they could Verify That it Wasn’t Appropriate

Because like I’m sure our parents didn’t think through the implications of that stuff but Jesus Christ the logical conclusions were so horrifying and stressful if you thought about it for five seconds

like okay so being immodest could tempt my own family to lust after me if I cause them to stumble? they would be attracted to my body if their morals weren’t strong and correct bc of the Faith?? What are you SAYING

like if you’re not lusting after them, maybe you shouldn’t talk like you do/are/could

I wish everyone would take two minutes to really think about it critically from the perspective of kids learning

My dad was never as into it as my mom was RE: following the strict modesty rules, but the few times he would get called in to :sparkles:inspect:sparkles: FUCKED me up because. You’re telling me my dad who is actually a pretty good safe well intentioned guy is supposed to be able to look at me and see my body in that light, but it’s okay because it’s only for the purpose of inspecting???

so then whats stopping it the rest of the time? His willpower and choice? some magic grace given by God to direct family members? magic? does it apply to my brothers and other relatives too? where’s the line? What if I ever went a bit too far in my immodesty? Would he be overwhelmed? Would I cause him to sin? My own father? About me? I don’t THINK so, but the seed was planted, and i couldn’t tell my parents or religious leaders that fear, so I just had to sit with it myself.

[this one was a post-it-note from me as an adult, attached to an entry about the modesty rules
and chastity standards]

I was so scared of being raped. Of tempting a good man around me into rape. So scared. Even of family members. If ALL men think like that, how can I trust that one of the “good ones”’s willpower won’t falter or even get corrupted by Satan or a demon without warning?

Then I’m the one left to deal with the consequences (and any baby).