Let's take it from the top

(from sometime in 2024) I feel like I could never want food again, and I want to feed me a bowl of hot Campbell’s soup. I have pain in my head and i don’t know where sensations are in my own body. I want to shower until I squeak and I want to never be…

I hope former NAXes (and former supernumeraries and numeraries, but mostly the naxes) get to fuck Opus Dei up all over the world more and more as more things come to light and more evidence is presented because it’s beyond deserved. You Argentinian NAXes are brave as hell. You’re gonna be remembered as major heroes…

(after seeing them around the internet for several years and being concerned for the kids for at least the last three of them. wrote these bits and bobs in 2023) I wasn’t treated the way the Franke kids were, but when I was locked in the prayer room for a while on a regular basis…

(from 2023) A Christmas-gathering-centered nightmare, a hospital-centered nightmare, and an un-fightable overwhelming fatigue despite being in imminent danger nightmare all in one night. Time to watch documentaries and give myself exactly one (1) task for the day (laundry) because it’s gonna take like 10 hours to feel like a person again All I can say…

(from late 2023) the process that continues to take up my entire life and shows no sign of slowing: I practice trusting my body or inclination/instinct —> I am handed the most bullshit discomfort or sensations —> I ride it out and continue to practice trusting the experience and trusting my own timing —> after…

(from October 7, 2023) So anyway with new Israel-Hamas news AND American politics AND the ongoing Russia stuff, my latent “here are some of the signs of the coming-soon Three Days of Darkness, or the not-quite-end-times pre-end times, OR the actual end times” programming has arisen like a sleeper agent, and I’m just shouting “back,…

I found my notebook from when I was sent to Catholic Apologetics Camp for training one summer. This stuff is terrible. There are some real doozies in this mess. I’ll put it this way—these are the front and back opening pages: This was from 2013. And these are a few choice snippets of wisdom: I’m…

(from late 2022) someday when I’m in a better place about all this, I’ll do a story time about how kid me decided to learn about exorcisms so she could try to exorcise herself any time she though she might be demonstrating demonic possession or accidentally acting like a demon. because she couldn’t explain to…

(from sometime in 2022) Somewhere in my head there’s a whole Ted Talk I wish I could give on the effects of purity culture causing afab people to be so afraid of (and feel betrayed and endangered by) their own bodies that they not only wear loose clothes and take measures to reduce their appearance…

(from 2021) after two decades of gaslighting from multiple directions and avenues and in the middle of trying to learn how to trust not just anyone but to trust my own self when that was the most dangerous thing that whole time, and thus trying to re-learn a large chunk of human history, basic facts…